hope?

have you ever sworn off something, that it will never happen again? then it happens again, so you set your resolve that this was the last time?
thats me i fall in and out of sin each time vowing next time will be different or at least hoping it will be but figuring it will probably be about the same. i wonder what keeps me going when i could just accept the seeming truth about who i am and what struggles i have i could resign myself to the fact that nothing will ever change and i will be stuck to deal with this, because it is the unjumpable hurdle in my life. i am sitting here in that spot right now mad at myself, hating the fact that i cant seem to shake my addictions. what do i do? i've been here many times. i realize i have 2 choices: despair or hope. it isnt uncommon for me to despair however no matter how deep the despair i always seem to migrate to hope. i cant explain it i just know (hope) that god's promises are real and that he has freedom for me not only freedom in the literal sense but freedom in the fact that it is for freedom that jesus set me free. there is no condemnation for those who are in christ jesus. i have told myself those verses a thousand times and i only partially believe them even though i totally want to believe its only 50% most of the time. jesus i need hope
you promise that hope does not dissapoint us so i will keep hoping........